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2019 Sucks

Originally published on Facebook on 04/01/2019

A timeline.

January 2, 2019 - took Trixie to the vet because she’d been favoring her back leg and it seemed to have gotten worse. Vet confirms she needs expensive knee replacement surgery. I come home from the vet and he tells me he just lost his job. I think, well it can’t get any worse.

February 5, 2019 - He tells me he wants a divorce. Out of nowhere - at least from my perspective. He is not willing to discuss it nor will he even consider going to counseling. It is over. Now I know it can’t get any worse.

February 6, 2019 - In which I find out why and that it can indeed get worse. I have to stop saying that. This is also the day I had to give up Pinky Tuscadero as I cannot afford my dream car on my salary alone.

February 9, 2019 - I drove to Dallas to look for a new apartment - I cannot stay in Austin. Unfortunately my budget does not allow for the type of apartment I want. Now I need to look for one I can afford.

February 11, 2019 - In which I find a lawyer and file for divorce. Something I neither wanted nor had an opportunity to fight against and yet I am the one that has to file. Magan and Darrell find me an apartment. I know it will be impossible for me to like anything as I am leaving my dream home. So I take it - sight unseen.

February 18, 2019 - He leaves for a week in Paris leaving me to prep and pack the house for sale on my own.

February 22, 2019 - My dream home goes on the market. Literally. I have spent 3.5 years creating my own little oasis in which we can grow old. And of course because we - or at least I - had no plans on ever leaving it, we over improved for our neighborhood. I know everyone thinks their home is worth more than they can sell it for. But I really do think ours was worth more. How do you put an appraisal value on someone’s dream home?

February 25, 2019 - after receiving 3 offers - 2 above asking price - we accept one. My dream house is officially sold. He returns for a few days.

February 27, 2019 - This time he leaves for Houston for a few days. Once again, leaving me to do everything on my own.

The next two weeks are spent seeing as many friends as possible to say “see you later” and packing up my home. I got rid of a lot of things I loved - mostly because I knew the memories would hurt too much to see them on a daily basis. But also because that is what you have to do when you downsize from your dream home to a two bedroom apartment.

March 2, 2019 - He comes home long enough to take Trixie away. I can’t have her in an apartment. And it kills me inside to give her up. One more thing I don’t get a say in.

March 9, 2019 - move to Carrollton, Texas. I am in awe of how many friends came to help load or unload the truck. I am grateful for everyone’s support.

Life goes on. Some days are better than others. Some days I don’t even cry. Then...

March 19, 2019 - My apartment needs vet records for Spike so I reluctantly take him. He’s 16 and I know he has something wrong - he’s drinking too much water and has lost a lot of weight. Vet confirms he has Stage 2 Kidney Failure. She’s going to do her best to give us 6 more months.

March 23, 2019 - Xander tells me he has testicular cancer. Suddenly my problems don’t matter anymore. All I want if for my son to be healthy.

March 26, 2019 - surgery day. Things are moving fast. Surgeon feels confident they got everything but we have to wait for test results next week.

And that is just the first three months.

March didn’t listen. April...please be kind.

#divorce #stilllucky #justdifferent

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