Change of Plans
In case you are wondering why I went radio silent after such a flurry of activity, it is Manfred's fault.
He likes to sleep on my lap, under a blanket. And he is very insistent. Also my legs have to be a certain way or he won't lay down - he just stands there with the blanket on him blocking my view.
I think I'm his pet.
Anyway, last Monday he plopped down prematurely (ie my hand was in the way) and he did it with such force that the fingers on my right hand touched my forearm for a moment in such a forceful way that I saw stars and legitimately thought I was going to pass out.
I iced and put one of my spare braces on because old medical accessories are not something I get rid of and went to CareNow the next night - they x-rayed and thought maybe possibly there was a hint that something might be broken, told me to continue with the ice and brace, and referred me to an Orthopedic surgeon.
Ortho checked me out, deemed it a mild sprain and told me to continue what I was doing for 2 weeks.
Spoiler alert: it's been just barely a week and I've already taken it off so I can type faster. But I do still wear the brace most of the time and while sleeping. I'm not completely disobeying doctor's orders.
If this sounds like a lot, it was. But I have a reason.
Reason 1 is I am trying to take better care of myself. Which means going to the doctor immediately instead of taking the wait and see approach. In other words, I'm trying to treat myself like I treated my kids.
Sidebar: back when we lived in Cedar Park (Austin), I had taken the boys to the pool one evening. They were playing around and Xander ended up smacking right into a lamp post. He was fine, but I took him to Urgent Care right away. (Also probably because of the whole Natasha Richardson thing, head bonks scare me more).
Reason 2 is several years back I hurt myself in a similar manner. Except the swelling never really went down and after about 6 (maybe even 9) months I finally went to the doctor. Turns out I had torn a ligament or tendon (can't remember) and since I didn't baby my hand but tried to work through the pain, I made the injury worse.
Which ended up leading to surgery.
I also explained this to both of the doctors I saw last week. I didn't want to come across as a hypochondriac and my hand wasn't massively swollen or bruised (though it did feel like it). I feel like they both really listened and understood my concern, which was nice.
I hate the expense but I feel better knowing I got it checked. And I have a follow up with the Ortho in 6 weeks just to make sure everything is hunky dory.
So yeah, no typing or household projects the last week or so. But I watched a lot of HGTV.
I'm also still trying to get my blood pressure under control. I'm on my second medication for it and I know she's going to change it when I go in tomorrow because it isn't working. At least not consistently.
I know losing weight and exercise would help, but I still need to work on both of those. I've now gained back 10 pounds of the 45 I lost - which considering I've been off Mounjaro for 3 months isn't that bad but I know I could do better.
It doesn't help that Elliot is a fantastic cook and I hate food going to waste. Especially when it tastes so good. And bless him - he does try to introduce more veggies into my diet but I'm too picky.
I also finally saw a doctor about my throat. He has scheduled a CT scan/swallow test for me next week. I don't quite understand how it will work but hopefully I will get some answers. His initial thought is it is likely just scarring from the tonsillectomy and there probably isn't much that can be done about it. But he understands my concerns about cancer due to the family history and agrees it can't hurt to investigate further.
Better safe than sorry.
So that's the post I meant for today.
And then I got a call. I can't say I was entirely surprised - I've seen the writing on the wall. Mortgage companies have been closing down. I've seen friends get laid off - some at my job too. Some departments went to reduced hours and I've been waiting on that call.
I never really expected the one I got.
It's still a shock. I know it was a difficult decision for them to make. I don't blame Chip or JB. And it was still probably the best work experience I have ever had - definitely the best in mortgage.
I didn't expect it to be over so soon.
But c'est la vie. Maybe this time I really start over? Begin a new career path? It's not easy starting over though because my lifestyle is dependent upon a certain paycheck that rarely accompanies a shift in career.
And what do I do next? Go back to admin work? I could - but the pay is typically not very good which was why I went to mortgage in the first place.
What if I can't find something remote? I've been working from home for the better part of 8 years now - I don't want to work in an office. For starters, I don't even have a car. And I would need a new wardrobe too since my closet is currently filled with t-shirts and sundresses.
Hell - I'm going to struggle to put together an interview outfit. Well, I will if it is in person. I can fake my way through with a nice top if it's a zoom call.
So here I am, 52 years old and no degree, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
#stilllucky #infinitelybetter #laidoff #lookingforwork #mortgage #startingover