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Dominican Republic Getaway - Days Three and Four

Slept much better that night. Woke up on day 3 and got ready for a day of relaxation.

Breakfast buffet was plentiful and delicious and they even cooked your eggs to order. We are light years away from "resort" #1.

After breakfast I booked us for our excursion the next day which was both a disappointment and one of the greatest days ever. More on that later.

We headed poolside next. The water was cool but not frigid and the tanning ledge had built in beds...I *had* to try it.

Note to self: if I ever get lucky enough to have a pool again, include built in tanning beds.

After maybe an hour - maybe less - we grabbed some more drinks to head down to the beach. It's a gorgeous day. It's warm but not too hot. The beach isn't over crowded. And the water is almost cold (much like the pool actually).

Rob immediately heads for the water while I make myself at home on a lounge chair. I just want to lay back and soak it all in. Savor the sounds of the waves crashing and the wind rustling through the palm trees. Plus, and most importantly, I had a pina colada to finish.

I eventually make it to the water and enjoy playing in the waves until one comes in a bit bigger and a bit harder than expected and knocks me over. Rips my fabulous sunglasses right off my face and may or may not have exposed myself for a moment.

It's good though! I can feel my sunglasses at my feet I'll just swoop down and BAM I am hit by 2 more waves. I am now definitely exposed, my sunglasses are gone, and I might be losing a contact lens.

I get my suit re-situated and Rob guides me back to the chairs because I'm squeezing my eyes shut trying to keep the contacts in. He then heads back to the water for my sunglasses in spite of my protestations.

Look. I knew bringing those was a risk. I considered bringing other pairs that are less fabulous because I knew this would probably happen. I just figured I would order a new pair once I got home (again, not that I needed them but you've seen them, right? They are so me!).

Anyway, I'm sitting there fighting with my contact - one fell out and I am desperately trying to get it back in before it completely dries out or blows away. It's been maybe 3 minutes.

And suddenly I hear "how much do you love me?"

I look up and Rob is WEARING MY SUNGLASSES! He went out and found them!

Unfortunately the force of having them knocked off my face has rendered them unwearable (don't worry, I have a replacement pair already on their way and they were on clearance!). So I did have to go and buy a pair from the gift shop on site. They aren't as fantastic but they do have sparkly flowers so it's still a win.

We stayed at the beach until lunch time, then ate and headed upstairs for a nap. Which was especially fun because that's about when the pool party started just below our room. But being in the sun and water is so exhausting/relaxing I actually had no problems falling asleep.

That night our reservation was for the Japanese restaurant which turns out was a hibachi restaurant. Great food, really good sake. Then back to bed because we had to be ready to leave for our excursion at 7:00 the next morning.

I've been looking forward to this part of the trip since I first heard about it. Saona Island aka STARFISH ISLAND. Our excursion didn't specifically say anything about starfish but I figured if it was called Starfish Island then they would be everywhere.

Spoiler alert: I was wrong.

It took us maybe 2 hours to get to the catamaran between stops to pick up people from other properties and the one restroom break. Once we got on our boat, it was smooth sailing.

Sorry. Couldn't help myself.

Also we weren't sailing. It was a motorized catamaran.

Drinks were included on the boat as well as free dance lessons whether you really wanted them or not. No - those will likely not be posted. OK maybe a carefully chosen one or two.

Also I'll take a moment here to brag about myself. I'm been working hard on accepting my physical self. I know I will never be thin again because I enjoy food and being lazy but it's still hard. I take a lot of care in choosing the clothes I wear to be as figure flattering as possible. I only post photos from the chest up usually because that's where I am most comfortable and I can control the angles.

But I did a thing. I bought a bikini top for this trip. And I wasn't sure about it but I packed it anyway. And I decided to wear it on this day and I did not bring a back up top. I was either going to wear the bikini or stay in street clothes all day.

Guys. I wore the bikini. All. day.

And I won't say I looked good. You'll probably never hear me say that about me in a bikini. Hell. In a bathing suit. But I was okay. I felt ok. Maybe even better than ok. I walked around that boat, I got up and danced in front of everyone. And I didn't care how I looked. And that was HUGE for me. It would have been huge for me just in a bathing suit.

And not for nothing, but I did get hit on by a couple of the other men on the boat before they realized Rob and I are a couple. Carlos was especially attentive.

I's cheesy as hell. I kind of love it.

So just outside the area where we got on the boat, they stopped for about 30 minutes to let everyone snorkel. Well, everyone that wanted to. Me and a few others stayed on the boat and took pics.

Oh and speaking of pics, there was a professional photographer with us all day. Wilkin took some pretty cheesy pics but he also took some great ones. I might share a little of both.

It took us about 2 hours to get to Saona Island. We landed on one side and then walked through the forested area to get to our beach where lunch and more drinks were waiting. Rob and I both got massages on the beach - my all time favorite way to get a massage and played in the water for a while. It was stunningly gorgeous. Just sadly starfish free (to be clear, this is the disappointing part of the excursion - no starfish).

After a couple of hours it was back on the boat for about 45 minutes to take us to the largest natural pool in the world. Water was maybe 3 feet deep? And the temp was perfect. We had a bartender with a floating bar while we played in the water. It was magical.

Now if you have been following along closely, you will note I've been drinking. All day. I've gone to the bathroom several times. I've done my best to empty my bladder before getting on the bus back to the resort.

It was not enough.

It wasn't too long and man I've got to pee. But we should be stopping at the pit-stop soon so it's all good, right?

NOPE. No pit-stop.

Let's take a bunch of people out day drinking all day then put them on a bus without a bathroom for an 1 - 2 hour bus ride with no stops.

How is this good planning?

Also I can't help but wonder how these people are dealing. How am I the only one that has to pee so bad it literally hurts?

Eventually the bus pulls over to the side of the road and tells me I should just go behind the barrier and pee. And I tried! I have never been able to pee while squatting - add it to the list of reasons I hate camping. But I had to pee so bad I didn't care anymore. I didn't care if my bare ass was potentially exposed to everyone on that little bus. I needed relief.

I probably tried for about 5 minutes and not one fucking trickle. Damn shy bladder. So back on the bus and I think maybe I scared it enough I can make it the rest of the way. Maybe I can fall asleep and forget I have to pee.

Nope. I was dying. It hurt so bad. Eventually our new BFF Wilkin the photographer went and asked the bus driver to drop us off first.

Ok I can do this. We are 20 minutes away.

I can do this.

I decide to pull my shorts off so that is one less article of clothing I have to remove when I finally get to the bathroom. I'll just wrap my towel around my waist like a sarong - it's a beach resort, it will be fine.

Except the action of pulling down my pants made my bladder think it was ok to finally release.

Yes. You are reading that correctly. I peed in my pants at the back of the bus. Just a little. But it was enough.

49 years old and I fucking peed myself on the bus like a toddler.

I felt like Maya Rudolph in Bridesmaids.

So that was fun.

Luckily I was already sitting on a wadded up towel and between that and the double layer of bathing suit and jean shorts meant the seat was safe - and it wasn't a lot.

I wrapped myself in my towel sarong and before the bus even stopped I was headed for the door - told Rob he knew where to meet me. Did the speed walk to the lobby bathroom - luckily I already knew where it was.

A lady tried to stop me to take her picture.


The best thing I can say right now is what a relief it was to finally be able to sit on an actual toilet again and pee. After which we headed upstairs where I peeled off my clothes and rinsed them out then immediately took a nice hot shower.

I don't know why I am sharing this mortifying story with all of you...but I guess it's just because I try to be honest with you about all things. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I don't routinely wet my pants, this was definitely extenuating circumstances.

I hope it made you laugh a little. I know I did.

Dinner was at the Caribbean restaurant and we were not as happy with our meal. It sounded good - Grouper in coconut sauce - but the fish was a bit under-cooked for my taste. To be fair, I'm betting that's probably more of a me issue than a quality issue. Rob's was prepared exactly the same leading me to believe that's just how they like it. Everything else was tasty though.

We then walked over to check out the saddest casino in the history of ever. Like WOW. It was very small. And both dank but brightly lit. And no one was in there gambling. We did a quick once around and left.

Back in the room. We sat on the balcony for quite some time just enjoying the beauty and the sounds, trying to soak it all in and commit it to memory.

This has been a fantastic adventure and neither one of us wants it to end.

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Robert Held
Robert Held
20 feb. 2020

You didn't mention our Ukrainian friends! They may or may not have been Ukrainian mob. But their three girls (somewhere in the upper teens) were all dancers. Ballet. And on the final ferry back to the mainland, they queued up some upbeat classical and did a routine for us! On a moving boat! It was wonderful. I did feel bad for the one girl who tweaked her knee. But it wasn't too bad of an injury.

But it was truly the most amazing vacation trip i've ever been on, and it was all because of you, Suzanne. I am truly the lucky one.

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