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Friday Ramblings

This is surreal. Also I need a better Instagram name.

I'm officially a brand Ambassador for Blue Venecia Sunglasses now...for whatever that's worth.

I think it is flattering but also hilarious. I can't help but wonder how many people they ask to be ambassadors. And if you click on their Ambassadors on Instagram, you see a slew of beautiful women in full makeup, perfect hair, and cute outfits...and then there is me with my purple hair and no makeup. I mean, I'm not trying to disparage anyone - they really are beautiful women and I applaud anyone that puts that much effort into their looks - it just sort of feels like that old Sesame Street game. You know the one.... "one of these things does not belong here, one of these things is not like the others".

These other Ambassadors all look like they take Instagram very seriously (and are at least 20 years younger than me). But like I said, I'm still flattered to be included. And wouldn't it be hilarious if they sold a bunch of sunglasses because of me? PS don't forget to use code SUZANNE10 if you buy something.

There's been a development of sorts.

At the reunion, one former classmate told me he'd had a crush on me in high school. We've been talking a lot this week. We even have a date this weekend. I have a lot of feelings about this. I'm nervous because I haven't been on a date in over 12 years. I'm excited because I haven't been on a date in over 12 years. Glad that it is someone I know and not a complete stranger - there's a level of comfort there. Scared he will be disappointed. I'm not exactly 18 anymore... has been a bust so far. As in nothing. Now I'm paying to be ignored. So that's fun. I'm trying to be patient instead of discouraged but it isn't easy. I can't help but wonder if it is my purple hair that is scaring them off? Not that I'm giving it up. Yet. At some point I might have to just because of finances. But for now it kind of feels like the only part of me that hasn't been lost.

Spike had a bad turn this week. He was vomiting a lot - 12 times in 4 hours. I was scared but I took him to the vet. X-rays showed no obstructions...but possible stomach cancer. And a probable spleen issue. I wouldn't let him do any other testing. Partly because confirming issues doesn't change anything. I've already decided I'm not taking any extraordinary measures at his age. But also because my credit card info was stolen this weekend so I had to pay out of my bank account. It isn't strictly a financial decision but I would be lying if I didn't admit it plays a part.

Good news is he is doing better now. He's eating and drinking and pretty much back to normal. But I fear he won't be around much longer. And then I will really be alone. I'm trying to prepare myself but I know I will be devastated. And it will just be worse because I won't have anyone here.

Sorry - that took a sad turn. But that's what's going on with me.

#divorce #stilllucky #justdifferent #dating #bluevenecia #Spike

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