Originally published on Facebook on 04/13/2019
I guess I’m moving on? I had two “anniversaries” this month already and I didn’t even think about them day of.
April 5th marked 2 months since my world fell apart. I can’t believe that it has already been 2 months...and yet so much has happened it is hard to believe it has only been two months.
April 9th marked my one month “anniversary” moving to Carrollton. How can a month have gone by already? And how did it go by without my really noticing? Am I really already accepting my new normal?
Adjusting to loneliness is tough. I don’t mind being alone. It’s being lonely. I hate not having someone to share my day with. Someone to watch a movie or eat dinner with me. I hate sleeping alone. I can do it - obviously - but I don’t particularly care for it. Me time is all well and good unless it is all the time.
I’m already turning into a crazy cat lady. I talk to Spike a lot just to hear my own voice. And he answers. If I didn’t live in an apartment, I’d probably already have 5 cats by now.
I’m also finding it challenging adjusting to my new budget. I’m not ashamed to admit I was spoiled. I knew how lucky I was and I was grateful every single day. And I am certainly not the first to have to make do with less - it’s not even the first time in my life. And I know I still have so much more than too many others. I am still grateful for what I have. But it is just another adjustment I am learning to deal with - I hope I am a quick learner.
Little things - like do I really need to take the toll road to get from point A to point B? How much time does it save me? (My boys are teaching me that one.) Just because I am craving a burger or Mexican food or a bubble tea or Starbucks doesn’t mean I can go out and get it. That’s a REALLY hard one. Retail therapy? Forget about it. I don’t just rent a movie because I want to see it - if it isn’t free, I just have to wait. I miss getting my nails done. Yes I can do them myself but not nearly as well and it isn’t nearly the same. I still have to get my hair done though - I’m not willing to give up my purple yet.
I’m probably going to get a part-time job. I made my budget based on a certain take home and what I’ve actually been taking home is significantly less. SIGNIFICANTLY. And that really sucks because I make decent money and I don’t feel like I’m living extravagantly. Plus since I work from home, I think it is a good idea to get out of the house. And maybe I can save for my New York trip - or my big European one in the fall. Just a few nights a week maybe.
So that’s all for now. If you are nearby and want to meet for dinner I can pretty much guarantee my availability...at least until I get a second job.