I woke up thinking about death - appropriately enough since it is November 1st. To be honest I have never given Dia De Los Muertos much thought. But I know it is a day to remember the dead and I've had some experience with that lately.
They say death comes in threes.
First was my beloved Spike. I miss him so much. This apartment is too quiet and I am too lonely without him. I know he had a great life, I know he knows he was loved, and I know he isn't in pain anymore. But I can't help being a little selfish and wishing he was back here with me.
Second was Robert (not to be confused with Rob). I received news of his death while on vacation. I haven't known him long - he sent me a Facebook friend request sometime around my high school reunion this summer. We have a lot of mutual friends and we did go to high school together (though I do not remember him) so I accepted. I figured like most people we might like an occasional post of each other's and that would be it.
But it wasn't. I mean we did do that. But Robert also read my blog. And he would reach out to me and tell me it had touched him or moved him in a way that he felt compelled to say something. Sometimes he just wanted to talk. Sometimes it was to tell me he had felt the exact same way and we would commiserate and yet also lift each other up. Sometimes it was to thank me for sharing my stories. Sometimes he just wanted to tell me he heard me. And that was important too.
I didn't know Robert, but he made an impact on my life in a short time span. And I've seen the posts from people that did know him better or longer and I know he will be missed.
Third was Peter - he died yesterday. Peter was my step-father. He married my mom 9 years ago. I didn't know Peter. I met him at the rehearsal for the wedding for the first time. The little bit I knew of him was fascinating.
And while I do not have or maintain anything close to a good relationship with my mother, I was glad to see her happy. It was nice seeing her with someone that made her smile. They traveled together. I know my mom would have been happy with just weekend road trips but he took her on at least one cruise and trips to Europe. Places I'm sure she never thought she would see.
I know my mother has had a rough life. And I am sure she did the best she could. I don't forgive the way she allowed me to be treated but that doesn't mean I wish her ill. I was glad to know of her happiness and I am truly sorry for her sadness now.