It's fine...I'll be fine...
I'm having a day.
Everything is getting to me.
I'm having such a hard time letting things just slide. Specifically work related.
More specifically, with a certain person at work.
I'm not going in to details. Work is what it is, and honestly today is no different than literally any other day at this or any other job I've ever had.
But you know how there's always that one person that gets under your skin?
And it is BAD today. You should have heard me yelling at the hot dog package that I couldn't open when I wanted to make my lunch.
Or losing my shit because I couldn't find the French's mustard in the fridge.
Yes. I'm taking my anger out on inanimate objects because I need my job and I can't say what I want to say.
And that is SO HARD for me. Honestly I already messaged my manager saying I am not getting enough credit for all of the things I HAVEN'T said today.
I miss Lisa. She's the reason I held on to that last job as long as I did. When work started getting to me too much I would call her and say all the things I wanted to say and she would talk me off the ledge.
I probably could still call her but it feels wrong to burden her with my ravings when she isn't paid to do it anymore.
One of my personal character flaws is my need to have the last word, especially when I feel like I am being attacked in some way. It is the hardest thing I do on the daily. I know there is no point in the back and forth.
I know I am right, and that should be good enough. "Be the bigger person" they say.
But dammit I get so tired of just sucking it up and letting others shit on how I do my job all so that I don't lose mine.
I'm tired of being the bigger person. Why does someone get to shit on me but I can't dish it back?
I mean, we all do it, right? You know what I mean. The person at your work that tells you how you are supposed to do your job? Even though they have never actually done your job? The one that says things like "in my opinion" and "does that make sense?".
No one asked for your opinion and no, you never fucking make sense!
Anyway, I'm having an incredibly busy and stressful day at work and I'm having a hard time letting go so I thought I would do a quick blog post.
Since drinking adult beverages at work is presumably frowned upon.
I'd jump in the hot tub but the pool guy is here and that would feel awkward.
Thanks for listening.
#stilllucky #infinitelybetter #workstress #2020