I know I am new at this, but I do not understand online dating/dating apps.
I'm not in the market for a long term relationship. But I'm not exactly looking for a hook-up either. Is there a word for something in-between? And am I the only one looking for that?
When last we "spoke", I told you about my foray into getting myself out there. Dipping my toes in the water. There was Bachelor #1 - the impossibly hot, possibly bot Marine. I stopped communication since I couldn't get him to have any sort of depth to our conversation.
Bachelor #2 - I like to call him young Coulson - seems to have disappeared. We were chatting just fine last weekend then nothing. It's fine - he's apparently training to be deployed in some fashion. He also has two very young kids and that's not a time in my life I want to revisit just now. Felt too complicated.
Enter Bachelor #3 - he is an attractive, slightly older (56) widower. From PARIS. I nearly noped right there. But he was friendly and respectful so I kept chatting. He is a Civil Engineer currently working in Cyprus building a hotel and doing some road construction.
But it's a lie. A scam.
My suspicions were first roused when I asked him where does his mom live in Paris. His response? "the city of Paris" Since I had previously mentioned my former love for all things Paris, it surprised me that he wasn't more specific. I mean, when people ask me where I'm from I most likely say Dallas and when they ask where in Dallas I say Carrollton. So it was strange to me that he didn't mention the part of Paris or the arrondissement. So I asked - which arrondissement? No response. And when he picked the conversation back up later, he skipped the question entirely.
Red flag #2 was when I asked him why if he is currently living and working in Cyprus is he online dating in Dallas. "because I live in Dallas" Well not right now you don't. When will you be moving back here? "when the project is over" When will that be? "soon"
Red flag #3 is him asking me to not talk to anyone else because when you know about someone you "just know" and he can tell that we are going to be very happy together. And he became rather insistent that I tell him I would not "chat" with any other guys. Which I refused to do.
Right about now is when I told Susie and Magan I was starting to get a catfishy vibe. It just wasn't making sense. Plus, dude I don't know you and even if I did you cannot tell me what to do or who I can talk to. Fuck. That.
So Susie being the internet sleuth she is decided to google his name, civil engineer, and Cyprus and found watchforscams.com and found a whole thread about dating scams involving widowers working in construction in Cyprus. There's no way it is a coincidence.
So I sent him one last message saying I knew it was a scam, blocked him, and reported him to Hinge.
To recap, I've had one guy that couldn't stay off the subject of sex, one that actually pulled the CHEESIEST and GROSSEST come on I've ever heard, a possible bot, and a scammer. So yeah. I'm SUPER PSYCHED about being out in the dating world again.
Not to sound like a broken record, but it just sucks that he gets to move on with his life like we never EXISTED with his new "emerging love story" while I sit alone in my apartment trying to find a connection on dating apps (yes, I know I should go out and mingle in the world but honestly that is scarier than apps. Maybe I'll get there. Someday.)
Also, can someone please explain to me how we are supposed to be friends if all of his social media accounts are private and have me blocked? And don't bother with the you don't need to be friends with him bullshit because I promise you, the more I see of the CRAP that he posts the more I am getting over him. Hell I am over him. I find him and his behavior, his complete disregard for the beautiful life we had together, and the way he is disrespecting me completely repulsive. Seeing the stuff he posts now, seeing his life now, actually is good for me. You may not see it, but I do.
I still haven't cried about it since D-Day. I can talk about it almost like I read it in a book or it's the plot of some bad movie I watched. I can laugh at how RIDICULOUS he looks right now (not just physically but his actions). I know that I am the best thing that ever happened to him and I know there is no way things will ultimately work out with her. I'm just mad I don't get to have a ringside seat to watch the implosion. That's probably why he's blocked me on everything. He says he wants to be friends but he clearly doesn't mean it. Because he knows I am right. Deep down, he knows it.
That's all I've got for now. My high school reunion is this weekend. I am not so secretly hoping my unrequited high school crush will show up - SINGLE - and confess he always had a crush on me. I promise to let you know if that happens. ;)