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Self-Quarantine Diary: Day Five

I haven't left my apartment since Monday when I went out to get trash bags on my lunch break.

I haven't seen or spoken to a live person face to face in 5 days.

It isn't much different from where I was exactly a year ago to be honest. The main difference is I had Spike with me last year. We were in it together...even if that was only because I had him trapped in the apartment with me.

It's a little different now.

My back hurt a couple of days ago. Like scary hurt. Like I couldn't breathe hurt. Writhing in pain hurt. I almost called 911 because it hurt so bad and I didn't know what was happening and I hadn't done anything to cause the pain.

I was scared. I called Rob but he was on the phone. And then I called Lisa (my manager - who lives in the Houston area by the way and could in no realistic way be of any help to me but I was panic-mode) and she told me to call 911. But I didn't want to call 911 if it wasn't really an emergency but it is so scary being in pain and not knowing what to do and being all alone.

And just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. One minute I was literally writhing in pain and unable to catch my breath and then all of a sudden I was fine. Or fine-ish. I could stop squirming. I could breathe. I could formulate a coherent thought.

Long story short, after discussing with the nurse at my doctor's office, we came to the conclusion I might have had a kidney stone? I can't know without going to the doctor and since I'm no longer in pain that seems like a waste of resources (also Duncan and Rob might have allergies or they might have a cold or the plague so I don't want to expose anyone I don't have to). So I'm just sort of sitting here wondering if it will come back.

But before it was semi-determined to possibly be maybe a kidney issue, I thought maybe it was just my back. So when I could, I grabbed the heating pad off of the top shelf of my closet (note to self: maybe keep it at eye level in the future) and laid on it for a while.

And at the risk of sounding pathetic, I watched TV with the heating pad on the lowest setting on my lap last night. Because it was nice. And it sort of made me feel less alone - like there was another warm body here. I could sort of imagine it was Spike purring in my lap.

Criminitly. I'm crying now.

Ugh. Being alone sucks ass. I like to be around people. And I can't even leave my apartment to be less alone. I just went through this! Who knew 2019 was just a warm up?

I know I am not alone. We are all in this together. Separately, but together. If you are lucky enough to be quarantined with someone, animal or human, be grateful. Let them get on your nerves. It's better than the alternative.

There are things I wish I hadn't put off. I put off going to the dentist, the optometrist, and the dermatologist. I am past due on all of those. I'm out of contacts for the foreseeable future. I wish I'd had my nails done last week. Now I have to try to remove the polish at home and guess who's out of cotton balls? Plus I'll have to cut my nails down to nothing because once the dip powder is off my nails they will be too weak to sustain the length. And I hate that.

Luckily I got a haircut last week. At the time I was annoyed because it was too short but now I think I'll be grateful because maybe it will last me a bit longer. My color sucks. I'm only purple on top now and that's going to just look weirder as it grows out. But no one will see me so I guess it won't matter, right?

Man I look old. #progressivesarethenewbifocals

I'm good on food. I think I even have enough of a variety as to not get too bored with it. So that's a positive at least. I sort of wish I had more snacky things or sweets but let's be honest - I would have eaten all of those by now anyway. I have no will power.

I might miss chocolate most of all. Sorry Rob.

Also I might have to lift my self-imposed ban on drinking alone. I made a vow when I moved last year that I would not drink alone in my apartment. Now, I'm thinking about revising that. One drink won't hurt, right?

Work continues to be busy for me which I sort of find shocking. I'm glad for the work - and overtime - but I have to say buying a house right now is exceedingly optimistic. To me at least. And I consider myself an optimist.

It's definitely a buyers market. Not the best time to sell though.

Sidebar: Not that I know anything. Seriously. I am just a casual observer based on what I see in my day to day job.

PS stop looking at your 401k. I know they all look scary right now, but they are only scary if you sell right now. Stay the course. Hopefully when this all ends everything will go back up and we can plan to retire someday. But if you aren't liquidating your 401k now, then you haven't really lost anything have you?

Again, I don't claim to know anything about finances. This just seems to be common sense to me.

How are things for all of you newly remote workers? I've been working from home for years and have seen no disruption yet - I haven't even had any internet issues (please don't start having internet issues). Has the transition been smooth for you? Are you going to look forward to being back in an office, or will you wish you could always work remotely? Jury is probably out on that still, huh?

If you need any tips on how to stay focused, I might not be the best to offer advice, but here it goes:

Maintain your morning routine. Get up, get showered and dressed. You can skip the make up and hair if you want, but don't stay in your pjs all day. Leave that to the pros.

Take a lunch break. Don't grab food and sit at your desk. Take an hour and watch tv or read a book. Away from your makeshift work station.

End your day at 5:00 or whatever your normal time is. Close down everything and walk away. Work will be there in the morning.

Have background noise. If you are used to being in a noisy office, silence can be deafening. Turn on the TV in the other room - but don't make it something interesting. Or finally listen to music at whatever volume you want.

I should also suggest getting up and moving around because you probably do that in an office but I'm not very good at that one.

I don't have school age children, but how is this effecting their education? Will everyone move on to the next grade in the fall? Will seniors graduate? Does anyone know those answers yet? I imagine colleges and universities are better prepared - at least for some courses - since distance learning is already a thing. But can anyone tell me what k-12 looks like? I'm hearing lots of chatter about no return to school until the fall.

I'm sad for the kids that won't get to have their senior prom or graduation ceremonies. That's going to suck. But at least they'll save money, right? And I am well aware that those things are not important in the grand scheme of things but I think they are important rites of passage.

I made my boys go to prom even though they didn't want to. And they said they hated it but even if they did, they looked good and they have those memories to commiserate (remember when mom made us go to prom? ugh) with each other and I think that is just as valuable as having a great time.

What do I know?

It's Friday and I keep seeing everyone post about doing yard work or other long put off house chores this weekend because they aren't leaving home. And I'm even jealous of that.

And if you will bear with me a moment, I'm really missing my backyard with my pool and hot tub right now. #stillnotoverthat

Oh I thought I was going to buy a house last weekend! This is before the quarantines got serious. I found a listing on zillow that on paper checked all my boxes. One story, mid-century modern ranch. With. a. pool. In Carrollton. It was a short sale so the price was unbelievable (listed at $96k). I was ready to buy - even if it was terrible inside which it might have been because there was only one picture, at that price I could afford to fix it up. Alas. It was already sold.

I'm not ready to buy and I wasn't last weekend if I'm being honest with myself but that deal would have been too good to pass up. I would have found a way. C'est la vie.

What's everyone binging right now? This week I watched Fosse/Verdon and now I'm sort of obsessed. I kind of want to watch a bunch of old school musicals but I'm annoyed they aren't free. I did watch a Fosse documentary last night followed by one about Lenny Bruce. I also started watching the Hillary documentary on Hulu on my lunch break yesterday.

Not to get overly political here, but I'm still with her. I still think she was/is the most qualified nominee for President we have ever had or possibly ever will have. I do not understand why/how people loathe her so much. I won't say we wouldn't be in this situation if she had been elected because I think that assumes too many things. But I do think she would have reacted more swiftly. Who knows. At any rate, I've only watched one hour so far - I think I'll go watch the second one now - but I already feel like this is something everyone should watch whether they like her or not. I don't know if it would change anyone's opinion about her but I'm finding it fascinating so far.

For the record I'm not super into documentaries but I have always enjoyed a good biography or autobiography and these documentaries are sort of like that.

I want unbiased documentaries about all Presidential nominees prior to the election now please. And yes, that means I would watch the Republican nominees too. Required viewing prior to voting - you have to take a short quiz to prove you are informed. At least then, even if I don't like the outcome of the election I could at least believe people had a reason for it.

Oh! or how about for each elected official you have to write down 3 key issues for why you are voting for them? And if the answer is just because they aren't the opponent then the vote doesn't count (yes that goes for red or blue).

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and can vote for whomever they want, I just want people to have a legitimate reason for why they vote a certain way. If it's because of abortion then just say it. I'm tired of the personal attacks on ANY nominee. Can we just vote on policies please?

That took a weird turn. Sorry.

Anyway, I'm going to take my lunch break now. Stay healthy everyone!

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Robert Held
Robert Held
Mar 20, 2020

To be fair, i DID call right after I got off the phone and was more than willing to break my self-imposed quarantine and come over. In fact, you know I was actually walking out the door when you called me back to wave me off. 😊

You know i'm there whenever you need me, babe. And soon enough there will come a time when, even in a quarantine situation, you won't be alone anymore. You know I'll be right there with you. Not virtually. In person.I love you.

But i'm sorry it's so difficult right now. I wish like hell I was with you.


Robert Held
Robert Held
Mar 20, 2020

To be fair, i DID call right after I got off the phone and was more than willing to break my self-imposed quarantine and come over. In fact, you know I was actually walking out the door when you called me back to wave me off. 😊

You know i'm there whenever you need me, babe. And soon enough there will come a time when, even in a quarantine situation, you won't be alone anymore. You know I'll be right there with you. Not virtually. In person. I love you.

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